Comments on: How to Discuss Finances Early On in a Relationship

By: kpaljug

kpaljug — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 18:12:39 +0000

Erin @ Journey to Saving kpaljug For the most part! When we recently talked about saving up for a trip, he couldn’t see anywhere in our budget where we could reasonably cut expenses, whereas I saw places everywhere! =)

By: Erin @ Journey to Saving

Erin @ Journey to Saving — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 17:34:22 +0000

kpaljug It’s so true! We all grow up having different perspectives on money, as well as different goals with what we want to use our money for. I’m glad that you’re both on the same page now!

By: kpaljug

kpaljug — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 13:54:12 +0000

I love the point you make about how you were raised affecting how you talk about and manage money. My husband and I both came from middle-class backgrounds, so for several years when we were dating I assumed we’d been raised in a similar financial situation.

But with me having worked, budgeted, and saved since I was 13 years old, and his parents giving him an allowance all the way through college, the expectations we grew up with were VASTLY different. We’re pretty solidly on the same page now, but it can still be a struggle occasionally.

By: Erin @ Journey to Saving

Erin @ Journey to Saving — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 19:36:18 +0000

yvettedog I’m glad everything worked out for you two! “My thought was my significant other’s money problems would be my money problems after we got married.” That’s a smart way to view it, and why having a plan beforehand is important!

By: yvettedog

yvettedog — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 13:28:24 +0000

This topic was a huge issue for me before I got married. I think everyone brought up good points. My thought was my significant other’s money problems would be my money problems after we got married. So we had a serious discussion about this. Fortunately everything worked out and we were able to work on it together. However, if we were in different places about finances, that would have been the deal breaker for me.

By: mycareercrusade

mycareercrusade — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 22:25:41 +0000

Now that I’ve actually re-thought, it’s probably even better to have someone with a slightly different perspective.. By having a different perspective you can almost combine or have a devils advocate approach and have an “ultimate” or close to it strategy :)
Thanks for the comment though!

By: Erin @ Journey to Saving

Erin @ Journey to Saving — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 16:50:19 +0000

mycareercrusade That’s tough to answer! It’s a lot easier to be with someone that shares the same goals and values as you do. It depends on the people involved, the length of the relationship, and the distance between possible compromise. (If one is an extreme saver and the other an extreme spender, it’s going to be a lot harder to bridge the gap!)

Of course, it’s worth trying to sort it out if both are willing to meet in the middle. Having a spending allowance for each individual or establishing expectations early on can help. These things are important to figure out before marriage, but I have seen the saver/spender dynamic work out in the end, so relationships certainly aren’t doomed just because of that.