At times, introverts can be viewed as rude or even downright anti-social. In reality, though, introverts get their energy from being alone and being in social situations for long periods of time is draining. Extroverts, of course, get their energy from being around people and actually can get drained from being alone for too long.
While introverts will never get the same energy as extroverts do from being around others, there are different strategies they can use to avoid becoming drained from being around others.
Here are a few ways for introverts to avoid becoming drained from being around others too often:
-
Find a career or job that gives you alone time
While introverts can be just as successful as extroverts in jobs that require constant interaction and communication with others, it can be more draining. I always wondered what the point was of those tests in middle school where you see what jobs line up with your personality, but now it’s clear: you are bound to be more succesful in a job that gives you energy than you are in a job that drains you.
That doesn’t mean that an extrovert can’t work in accounting or an introvert in retail; they absolutely can (trust me, my manager is an extrovert and I’m an introvert – same career). Specific jobs within each field will call for more or less interaction and more or less alone time. For example, a patent lawyer may spend hours upon hours looking over technical documents, while other lawyers may spend most of their time interacting with clients or following leads on a case.
-
Make sure you schedule time for yourself
Especially if you have a job or lifestyle that causes most of your waking hours to be spent socializing or meeting with others, try to make sure there is some time at the end (or beginning or middle) of the day that can be spent recharging your batteries.
Your time outside of work is going to have to take into consideration your time at work: if you work retail and have to spend hours upon hours helping customers, you likely will want to reserve more of your time outside of work for alone time. On the other hand, if you have a job where you spend most of your day working on a computer and not interacting with others, you can get away with less time to yourself outside of work. It’s all about balance.
-
Leave social gatherings when you want to
Introverts can certainly still have just as much fun at parties and other social gatherings, but being there too long can result in becoming exhausted. When you go to a social gathering and you feel like leaving, you should leave. This will allow you to be able to go to more social events without the fear of becoming burnt out.
Being from Minnesota, we have this thing called “The Minnesota Goodbye.” When you are with others, it takes forever to leave. The goodbyes can drag on for an hour (no joke). While it may not be the most polite thing to do, you do not have to say goodbye to each and every person. Instead, try to make a relatively quick exit. People will not be offended, and if they are they need to learn more about the differences between introverts and extroverts!
Introverts need to recognize the fact that they get drained when they are around others, just as extroverts need to recognize their need to be around others and make sure their job or time outside of work is scheduled accordingly.
Are you an introvert or extrovert? How does it impact your lifestyle?
____________
Photo by David Shankbone
Check out some of our favorite personal finance resources:
Are you getting the best credit card rewards? Check out the top cash back credit card offers (updated daily)
Make extra money: 15 ways to make money from your computer
Get the First Chapter Free!
Join our online community and get the first chapter of the book Student Loan Solution absolutely FREE!
Good post DC. I am an introvert for the most part and can attest to all of these things. It’s funny because my wife is a big extrovert so we’re completely opposite in that way. It took us the first couple years of our marriage to learn what the other likes best. If I am going to be in a social gathering then I definitely prefer it to be a smaller group setting. Beyond that it is draining and want time to myself.
@FrugalRules My wife is an extrovert as well and it’s been interesting to see how she has actually become a bit more introverted, though she still needs to be around others regularly. Both of us like to have people over so it’s been nice finishing up the house so that we can have more people over. I also have a friend who is an EXTREME extrovert who I hung out with one night after work. I could tell he was gaining energy from being around me and others, while I was getting more and more drained.
I used to be incredibly introverted when I was younger and then one day I just got sick of never having my opinion heard and I started to speak up.I am so glad I did because it has opened so many doors for me that I would have never had if I continued being introverted.
That whole hour long goodbye thing sounds terrible. I like to make a real quick exit normally and just say goodbye to my friends and the hosts.
@MonsterPiggyBank It takes us about 1/2 hour to leave church usually, even if most of the people are going out to lunch together afterwards :0 That’s a Minnesota goodbye for you haha.
I am an extrovert but I still get exhausted all the time. I often make small talk at my job for 8 hours straight and when I get home I just want to get in bed and sleep. It’s so hard to be “on” all the time. I wish I had a job where I only had to communicate with people through email =)
@Holly at ClubThrifty “I wish I had a job where I only had to communicate with people through email =)” THIS! Exactly what I want! I get pretty annoyed when people call when they could have instead sent a quick email or even an IM…it’s so much simpler!
I’m an introvert and when I leave parties I just want to GO! I would have a hard time with the Minnesota good-bye. lol! Other than that, it doesn’t affect me too much. It works in my favor as an editor who works alone from my apartment. I’m totally comfortable with that. I also sometimes have a hard time at loud bars, but I do love my friend time.
@Beachbudget The Minnesota goodbye is rough, though sometimes I do leave without saying bye to EVERYONE (it seriously takes forever!). I would love to work from home full-time and hope that it’s an option same day down the road.
I’m a pretty big introvert and I think at times people don’t really understand what that means. For many people I think they view being introverted as being socially awkward, not liking to be around people and preferring to always be in a dark room with nothing but their computer monitor to keep them company. That can be pretty far from the truth though in my experience.
As an introvert I still love being around other people, being at a party – or chatting with others at a gathering like the FINCON meetups that we went to a few weeks ago. But as an introvert being in those situations – while I enjoy them – does tend to drain me. After a few hours at an event with a lot of other people I’m usually pretty tired and need some time to recharge. If I’m not able to go home and get some alone time though, I’ll often find a way to sneak off for a little while for a bathroom break, or to go out and get some fresh air.
My wife on the other hand is an extrovert, so at times this can cause conflict. She’s home alone with our son all day and doesn’t get a lot of adult interaction. When I get home, I’ve been dealing with other people all day and am in need of an alone time recharge. She on the other had is ready to recharge by being with me.. Especially during our first couple years of marriage that could lead to conflict because she wants to recharge, and I want to recharge – but both in different ways. I think we both are more aware of how to work with that dynamic now.
@moneymatters Great explanation Peter, because I am the same way. I hate how people see it as being shy or socially awkward…for the most part it’s a matter of how I gain and lose energy (and I think it’s the same with other introverts).
My wife is the same way! She nanny’s a couple days a week and she’s around no one except the baby. I on the other hand have to deal with people at work constantly so I’m drained when I get home and she is ready to be around others. We are definitely still learning, even after a year of marriage.
I find that I am an introvert when I walk into a room and do not know anyone, so I force myself to socialize. Once I know people I am pretty social and enjoy being around others.
@TacklingOurDebt I’m the same way!
I’m an extrovert so working by myself for long periods of time is difficult.I didn’t realize how much I craved human interaction.
@Thirtysixmonths I didn’t realize how much I DON’T crave human interaction during the workday until I started working in a very open office environment.
I think I’m probably more of an introvert than an extrovert, but really I’m probably a good mix of both. When I was little my parents used to call me “velcro” because I was always attached to them and wouldn’t let them go. My dad took me to work with him some days because he couldn’t bare to leave me at nursery school. I think they thought I’d be a shut in, or a weirdo. Thankfully I grew out of that stage and actually enjoy the company of others.
I’m such an introvert. I like being around people, but after a certain amount of time, I just feel tired of them! I try to pace myself and find a “quiet spot” that I can retreat to if needed when I’m at parties and gatherings. Definitely connected with this post. -cf
I can be an introvert at times too, and can find myself with anxiety when it comes to some social events. I am generally okay at work, because i have a reason to talk to people and the conversations come naturally for me.. But parties are always stressful for me because I will likely have to make small talk with strangers.. Yikes!
Interesting how many of the commenters have spouses that are the opposite of them. I too fit that category as I am an introvert and my wife the extrovert. In my situation my wife tends to pull me to social gatherings and I enjoy them while I am there for short periods of time. If not for her I would never attend, so it is a good balance for me. BTW, is that dude in the front left of the pic wearing PJ’s?? LOL. Ugliest. Pants. Ever.