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The Four Questions I Ask When Giving Gifts

By Sally Bohlinger / Last updated: April 26, 2014 / Lifestyle, Personal Finance

We may receive compensation from companies mentioned within this post via affiliate links. Read our full advertiser disclosure. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed or approved by any of these entities.
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PresentToday’s post is from our regular Tuesday contributor, Sally.

As I continue to watch my savings account grow and see the interest that has accrued on my loans decrease, it’s amazing how much better I feel.

I’ve already surpassed my goal of having an emergency savings of a $1000 because I’ve somehow managed to be much more frugal than I thought and it feels SO AMAZING!

I’m currently fighting an urge to figure out how I can make that amount in my savings increase even more – sometimes I get addicted to making money and I’m already working 15-hour days most days of the week on top of classwork (and I’m not where I am to make money, I’m where I am to get a Masters).

Surprisingly, even though I want to keep increasing the amount in my savings, I also have another habit that is now coming back into light after some hibernation – purchasing presents for people.

I love going to a store and finding that one perfect gift for someone. If I don’t have an idea of what I want to get them, it could take me hours (or days) to find what I hope they will really love. While I could definitely shop for myself all day, I find that getting someone something I think they will love, really makes my heart happy and makes me feel great.

However, although it’s a nice thing to do, I have previously fallen into the trap of using all of my money on things for other people that they really don’t need. Because of that, I’ve started asking some simple questions to really push myself to make sure I don’t go overboard on spending all of my money.

Here are my 4 STOP IT SALLY questions:

1) Why?

What is the reason I want to get this item for them? Is it their birthday? Is there an anniversary coming up, something I need to come to with a present? If it’s not happening for a few months, do I really believe that it is worth hanging on to for that long or am I sure I won’t find something better in the meantime?

2) How Much Is It?

Depending on the event I’m getting it for and how much I really think they would appreciate it, the amount I spend on people varies. I’m trying to get in the habit of setting a limit for each person when I go shopping for them, but if I find something outside of the set amount, I rely on my other questions as to whether or not I really want to spend the money on the item.

This one especially reminds myself that although I love where my bank accounts are right now and I feel like I have a bunch of money, that money can disappear really quickly if I spend it on everything I see.

3) How Will They Use The Item/Where Would They Put It/Etc

Sometimes all it takes for me to realize that I’m not being practical about a gift for someone is trying to figure out how they would incorporate it into their lives. If it will take up too much space or doesn’t match the décor perfectly and you can’t figure out if it will or won’t work, then it’s not worth it.

4) Will They Miss It?

Most likely, no. Especially if it’s some little trinket or doesn’t really have a practical use; if you can’t really imagine them with it or using it, then they probably won’t.

I’ve gotten better about asking myself these questions and have turned down many items because they don’t work for these four rules. As long as I keep pushing myself not to spend the money and realize that if I don’t buy this cute little statues for a coworker, it’s not the end of the world. They won’t even miss it – they don’t know it even exists.

What about you? Have any bad spending habits or have one similar to mine?
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Photo by Stefano Mortellaro

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Sally Bohlinger

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  1. BudgetforMore says

    I really enjoy buying presents as well. My cousin is getting married this summer and I actually bought his wedding present well over a year ago when I found the perfect gift for him and his soon-to-be wife. I’m glad I bought it then as now I don’t have to purchase anything else!

  2. DC @ Young Adult Money says

    BudgetforMore My wife and I have started to purchase gifts further in advance as well.  Definitely helps you find the right gift for the right price.

  3. brokeandbeau says

    I’m totally the opposite.  Yesterday I had some free time to walk around the city, and with Mother’s day and all the weddings I have coming up I was keeping my eye out for gifts.  Every time I looked at something I just thought, this is all junk and clutter.  Yes, I know some things are useful, but you really have to know what they NEED.  Otherwise I vote for experiences.

  4. DC @ Young Adult Money says

    brokeandbeau Haha that happens.  There is a lot of stuff out there that is nice to have but is definitely not a “need.”

  5. FrugalRules says

    I’m sort of like Stefanie and am somewhat opposite. When we do buy, we always try and keep it to something they can enjoy. More often that not, it comes down to getting them an experience to enjoy…at least with most of our family. The last thing we want to do is buy a piece of junk, but have it be something we know they’re going to get something out of.

  6. fitisthenewpoor says

    I am a total gift giver. My aunts are in to trinkets, so I can go crazy with them. The rest of my family are in to practical items, so I have to scale back on those. But I at least get some balance!

  7. DC @ Young Adult Money says

    FrugalRules It’s interesting, though, how it can depend on your perspective.  For example my aunt and uncle might have thought that the roku I asked for Christmas was junk, but in reality we find a ton of value in it and have had a lot of fun using it to stream shows.

  8. DC @ Young Adult Money says

    fitisthenewpoor People who like practical gifts are the hardest to shop for, in my opinion.  I’m one of those people haha.  One of the things I got from my parents for Christmas was a shop vac and I absolutely love it.

  9. JourneytoSaving says

    I am awful at buying gifts for people, and my family is just hard to buy for! Everyone buys things they want themselves, which leaves people with nothing to get them except gift cards. Often times, if my mom or grandma discover they need something, they’ll go out and get it right away. They don’t mind gift cards, but I’d love to be able to get them something they’ve been wanting!

  10. SixFiguresUnder says

    I shop for gifts year round.  I have ideas for people in mind and then I try to find the best deals throughout the year.  My kids are young and they don’t care if things come from the thrift store or garage sales, so I always have my eye out for things they’d like.

    I also make a lot of gifts.  Not everyone appreciates handmade.  Because of the time and materials, handmade gifts often cost more than purchased gifts.  I only make handmade gifts for people who will appreciate them.

  11. FrugalistaGuide says

    For a gift that delights, it’ essential to take a moment and think about who recipients are (Foodie or love to cook; weekend athlete or yoga devotee, etc.). If you don’t know them so well, figure out what you do know.  Although, I always wonder if you don’t know someone very well, why are you buying them a gift? (Other than imposed work exchanges and the like) 
    It’s also possible to find great FRUGAL gifts that fits the recipient.
    If I find a perfect gift for someone with the occasion months away, I’ll get a) because I might not find it again b) because I almost always buy gifts on sale or clearance.  The mark-down tag doesn’t change the value of the gift that someone will love.

  12. StudentDebtSurvivor says

    I like #3 a lot. Sometimes my dad will buy me gifts that are very thoughtful, but not very practical (example-a little figurine of a dad and a daughter that reminded him of him and me). It’s really sweet, but we just don’t have space for “shelf sitters” as my grandma calls them.

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