Today we have a post from Shannon, a regular contributor.
So, if you read this blog last week, you may have read my partial rant about how husbands or significant others can spend money on gifts that they think their wives or significant others want.
However, if your significant other is a frugal-minded person, giving them what you think they want may actually have the reverse effect as the one you intended. Instead of making them happy and smiling because you are so thoughtful to give them a gift, you just tick them off.
Last week, I gave you a few ideas of the type of items that will tick off your frugal honey, so this week, I am sharing with you some things that would make her happy.
1) Your Time
My hubby and I both work, and we also have an 8-year-old son who consumes quite a bit of time and energy. Usually by the end of the day, we can barely have a full conversation and just want to get some rest. There are times, though, when my hubby has come home early just to hang out with me and chat, or he makes a conscious effort to put his phone down and give me his undivided attention when I have things on my mind.
I understand the value of his time and energy, so when I get it from him undividedly, it truly is a gift I cherish. Unless of course, I am in the middle of watching Dancing with the Stars or The Voice (but we have been married 10 years, so he knows better than to interrupt that time).
2) Pampering
I love a massage more than anything, especially since I spend lots of my time on a computer and really feel it in my neck and shoulders. I hate to pay for one from a stranger, though, and I hate to burden hubby who has hard days as well. Every now and then, though, he senses extra stress in my life and offers to give me a massage without expecting one in return. I literally cry tears of joy every time he makes that offering. It is another “free” gift that has tremendous value to me.
3) Your Handyman Skills (No matter how poor they are)
I don’t know a single friend of mine who does not have a honey-do list for her hubby. If you own a home, or even if you rent, there is always something around the home that needs some kind of attention, whether it is a squeaky door or a clogged sink. If you were to take on one of these tasks without her asking, you would be her hero.
If you don’t know what needs to be done, just asking her if there is anything she would like you to do around the house would be HUGE. If you are not confident in your DIY skills, here’s a link to some great resources courtesy of my DIY guy.
4)Babysitting (your own kids)
If you have kids, one of the greatest gifts you can give your wife is babysitting time with your kids. Even if it is for just a few hours so she does not have to bring them with her on an errand, or for her to workout or go out with her friends for a ladies night, it would be a great gift. We mom’s love our kids, but we also like some time to decompress from them, and if you step up and offer that time willingly, it will be much appreciated.
5) Thoughtfulness
This is a little more ambiguous, but it’s because you should take some time and think about the tasks your wife does around the house and think about doing some of those for her. Perhaps you could do the laundry a few times, or unload the dishwasher, or cook dinner. Everyone splits up tasks differently at home, but if you were to take on some of your significant other’s tasks for a day, a few days or a week, you would give her a break that would be worth more than any bouquet of flowers you could find.
These are just a few ideas, but if you are really thinking about giving something to your wife or significant other, the best thing you can do is ask her what she wants or what is important to her. I can assure you, though, that the best gifts you give her are your time and consideration for everything she does.
What frugal gift ideas would you recommend or like to receive?
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It’s so true that the acts of doing things for you are more valuable than material things. Doing stuff without being ask is gold!
I think thoughtfulneses is always appreciated. There is always stuff to be done around the house and I definitely appreciate when my hubby starts picking up chores without being asked. It’s really nice.
Hey, I like these! =) I usually don’t ask Greg for much at all. He’s an excellent father and is actually much more hands-on than I am. All I want is his unconditional love! =)
These are all great ideas Shannon, especially the time and thoughtfulness aspect. Watching the kids is one of the best ones in my opinion because my wife then gets to go out and do whatever the heck she wants without three kids hanging off of her. The kids love it to, because they tend to get by with much more when Dad is in charge. ;)
debt debs Guys really don’t understand just how much we appreciate them doing things without asking! I would take that over flowers any day of the week. :-)
BudgetforMore It’s true, there really is ALWAYS something to do around the house and it’s nice when you don’t have to “nag” to get things done.
Holly at ClubThrifty Ha! I hear you, unconditional love is a great gift. And you definitely have a good one in Greg!
FrugalRules Ha ha ha…I love that your kids know they get away with more when Dad is in charge. And it is SO nice to just feel “nimble” with getting around when you don’t have all the kids. It’s amazing how much more you can accomplish!
I really don’t like store bought gifts most of the time, so these are great ideas. A day to do whatever I want with no need to make meals or clean messes would be heaven.
Pampering always works for me. You don’t have to be wildly creative or innovative, give me a massage every time, I’ll never grow tired of it.
Great ideas Shannon. I agree I would prefer these to a store bought gift any day. When I first got married my husband and I tried the gift thing but then we realized it was so silly for us. Stressing out about the perfect store bought gift is just not how we wanted things to be.
Eyesonthedollar Ha! That day sounds like absolute heaven, Kim, and you can’t find that in any department store.
brokeandbeau Ha! I totally agree Stefanie! I would never turn down a massage and the more, the better.
Raquel@Practical Cents We were like that about our anniversary gifts Raquel and now it seems as though the longer we are married, the less we care about the store bought stuff and the more we care about the time and experiences.
You know, I think the biggest one here is time. I remember when I was working a full time job and getting my business up and running, the one thing I really missed was time with Ana, and she missed the same thing. She’s never really been one for gifts, though I try to get her something hon her b-day, Christmas, etc… She appreciates being able to spend time with the laptop closed more than anything.
Joshua Rodriguez Ha! Yes, time with the laptop closed is truly one of the greatest gifts you can give each other.
Yes to all! Time and thoughtfulness are really nice to receive, as it’s great to know your significant other is on the same page as you are. When my boyfriend does household duties, I’m just happy he’s aware of what’s going on and doesn’t leave it up to me. I also love it when he offers to cook!
JourneytoSaving I know! It is such a great feeling knowing that they are aware of the home situation and helping out on their own.
I’ve never thought about it before, but I don’t have a honey-do list. Unless “finish polishing your shoes that are on the table” counts. Total tangent, I know, but I am fascinated, and totally going to write something about this.
Ugifter I am sure that my hubby wishes I didn’t have a list for him, but it’s hard not to when he is off for the summer.
The first two are at the top of my list. My partner and I have different work schedules and after work activities, so we rarely see each other during the week even though we live together. On the weekend, we often do stuff around the house. We’ve been trying to make more of an effort to spend some quality time together just hanging out. Last night we went to the movies, which is quite rare. I think we go to the movies every other year. Haha.