Today we welcome Shannon, who you may know from the blog Financially Blonde. She will be filling in a couple of weeks while Cat takes some time off to spend with her twins.
At fourteen years old, I joined the ranks of the working class, and over the past twenty one years, I estimate that I have had to work for greater than thirty direct bosses and dozens more indirect bosses.
Over my working life, I have experienced the joys of working for a transformative leader who made me and those around him better people, and I have also experienced the struggles of working for someone who literally made my skin crawl just thinking about him and the internal games he would play. The sad conclusion I have drawn is that there are more skin crawling bosses out there than transformative ones, so if you are someone struggling with a challenging boss, here are some thoughts on how to handle them.
Boss Type – The Egomaniac
How you spot this boss? – This boss is all about his or her own personal success and looking out for numero uno (which is not you, by the way). The personal agenda of this boss is typically clear from the outset; however, they have been known to be sneaky and sometimes appear as though they are “helping” you, but they are really just helping themselves.
How you best this boss? – This is actually one of the easier situations to handle. Despite the fact that this person drives you nuts by his or her lack of teamwork and support for your career path and growth, the good news is that they are “simple minded” and easily bested because their ego is their weakness.
The best way to handle them in the short term is to continue to inflate their ego. At any given opportunity, let them speak about themselves and how wonderful they are. Ask for their advice and opinions even if you don’t care for them. Brown nosing will get you everywhere with this boss, and despite the fact that it will be difficult to swallow at times, you will keep your boss happy and should opportunities for growth arise, you will be considered because you will be associated with making them feel better.
In the long term, you have to understand that this person, no matter what they claim, will not help you. So as long as you are fine staying in the spot you are in, then just keep on building up their ego so you are at least looked on with favor. Otherwise, keep an eye out for opportunities that will allow you to move to a better position.
Boss Type – The Micro Manager
How you spot this boss? – This boss will barely let you go to the bathroom without asking you how you do it. He or she will likely ask you to explain everything you are doing, why you are doing it, or how you plan to do it. Sometimes asking multiple times to the point where you will wonder if they question your intelligence.
How you best this boss? – When you need to tamp down this boss before you strangle them, a great tactic is to preemptively “head them off at the pass.” If you understand that your boss will question everything, then you need to present everything to your boss before he or she asks for it. If you are about to start on something, tell them you are starting on it. If you are working on something, give them frequent updates on your progress. You can never over communicate with this boss. In fact, you will find that after a period of constant communication to thwart his or her micro managing, this boss will actually start to “let up” on you, because you will now be perceived as someone he or she does not have to overly manage.
Boss Type – The Backstabber
How you spot this boss? – Unfortunately, you may not spot this boss without first experiencing a painful situation where their true nature and feelings for you are exposed. In fact, sometimes you do not know what their true nature is, but you have a “hunch” that this person does not like you and may in fact try to sabotage your career at the company.
How you best this boss? – In this case, you have to wage a major defensive strategy to protect yourself should an attack arise. This typically starts with over documenting your interactions with the boss. You could keep a Word file or notebook on the events, so you can refer back to dates and situations. Try to keep all of your communications in writing so that you have evidence of your hard work and commitment.
If the boss is ever inappropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable, start sharing these situations confidentially with your human resources contact. You will be tempted to build a team of support around you against this boss; however, you should beware of implementing this strategy. These bosses are typically very good “game players” and you may not know where their hidden alliances reside. It is best to keep your head down, protect yourself, and document everything well, so if an attack ever arises, you have your army of facts and information to support you.
Boss Type – The Emotional Mess
How you spot this boss? – They are typically experiencing an extreme emotion on any given day, sometimes multiple times a day. This emotion can be expressed with some combination of yelling, tears, isolation, or crazy emails.
How you best this boss? – The important thing to note with this boss, is that their extreme emotions have nothing to do with you. This is a personality flaw and a clear weakness in how they manage stress, but it will feel as though it is you. Once you accept that it is not you, it’s them; you need to visualize your work environment as akin to working in tornado alley. Storms may not constantly be taking place there; however, the likelihood of them occurring is higher than in other parts of the country. And just like those individuals who live in tornado alley have emergency plans and back up systems, you need to have yours.
If you can close yourself off and keep distance during one of these storms, that is best. They typically blow over and as long as you are not in the direct line of fire, you will be safe. Sometimes you just have to sit in the storm, close your mouth and brace for the heavy winds. Typically these emotional outbursts help clear the mind the boss and they can move forward in a better frame of mind after letting it out.
Boss Type – The Inept
How you spot this boss? – Upon review of the work they create, you often wonder, how they became the “boss.” You may ask yourself things like, “Who did they sleep with to get this position?” or “How do they dress themselves in the morning?” or “Why don’t they just hire a trained monkey?”
How you best this boss? – The first step when dealing with this boss is to ask other people what they think. You may be frustrating yourself over working for this supposed moron, but perhaps it is just because you cannot see their value clearly. And a third party opinion can help you better assess the situation. If others are in agreement with you over the lack of skill of this boss, then you need to start to wonder about how they got the job, and it is typically because of a favor or high political connection which makes this person an internal land mine. If this is the case, you have to tread lightly when working with this boss.
The best way to manage through this working relationship is to suck it up and help make them better. You will likely benefit from their strong internal political connections and improve your own internal standing. From my experiences, inept bosses, do not typically last long, so you may not have to “handle” them for an extended period of time.
Final Thoughts
No matter what type of difficult boss you work for, remember that no matter how frustrating or challenging they make your life; you have to look out for your career and remember your goals ahead of everything else. Sometimes you will just have to “suck it up” and deal with it for a period of time until you move onto your next challenge. Try to make it a game of figuring out how to manage them.
Think about your working life as playing on the school playground. You want to make sure that you are always viewed as the nice kid on the playground that everyone wants to play with. Some bosses make it easier to be that kid than others, but never let them ruin your good reputation, as it will stay with you longer than a bad boss.
Have you ever worked for a difficult boss? What were they like and how did you manage it without losing your mind or your job?
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This article should inspire everyone to move to financial independence! I think that was a motivator for me, even though I did not always have difficult bosses.
I do know when I left the military, I needed to get financially capable to support myself.
My old boss was a micromanager and inept. He mostly sat in his office and looked at fishing gear and condos in Florida on the internet all day. Then he would pop out and act all serious about work. It was nuts! He was a super nice guy though =)
I’ve definitely had my fair share of difficult bosses.. Perhaps the worst was a senior I reported to while working in Big 4. She was delusional and angry. The firm loved her though becuase all she ever did was work work work. Almost everyone in the firm hated working for her though. It was crazy.
BudgetforMore It is the worst when you have a boss who has senior leadership support with no peer or direct report support. It is why I am a huge fan of 360 reviews. I think they help everyone.
Holly at ClubThrifty That is awful that you had a doubly difficult boss, but at least he was a nice guy. And I always found it amusing when the inept boss “acted” like he was in charge or knew what was happening.
No Nonsense Landlord It’s true, you should use a bad boss experience as motivation to become financially independent! Great point!
Great post. Having a difficult boss is definitely difficult. It is something that is not easily resolved, but your tips are very helpful in making the best of a bad situation. Some difficult bosses may have a combination of the traits you listed! I had one who is incompetent, yet an egomaniac who micromanages every little detail and will throw you under the bus if it is in her interest. And yes I’m with No Nonsense Landlord…it really motivates you to become financially independent so you are not dependent on the job for your livelihood. I had a boss years ago who would scream and yell at his underlings…like they were a little child. It was embarrassing. And what made it worse is that there was no way he’d be fired or leave…he was the company president (son of the owner).
I too have had quite a number of bosses over the years (although I don’t think I’m quite up to 30 yet). I’ve experienced most of these types too. I once had a micro manager who chastised me for not calling in when I was 3 minutes late! Ok, so by the time I dialed and you picked up I’d be walking in and sitting at my desk!!
Of all the types, I think the Inept one drives me crazy the most. The good thing about Inept bosses is that usually they don’t meddle with your work much because they don’t know what’s going on. It’s so frustrating though knowing someone so incompetent is in an authority position though.
While no strategy is foolproof, this is good advice for dealing with all of these diverse management styles.
Andrew LivingRichCheaply There is definitely not an easy way to deal with a difficult boss, especially when they have multiple bad traits!! I just hate to see when people let a bad boss lead them to make bad career and financial moves. Unfortunately you have to work through that situation and hopefully let it motivate you to something better rather than bring you down.
PFUtopia Ha! Your micro manager sounds much worse than mine! And yes, the inept boss who at least has half a brain, will typically stay out of your way, but it is awful when you work hard and they get the credit for it. Yes, no strategy is foolproof, but it is key to not let them win in the end.
I’ve had my share of difficult bosses. I had one that I guess would fall under Enept. I just hated telling her anything when there was a problem because she always just added more fuel to the fire. She would just freak out instead of finding solutions. Ugh, I hated that.
Raquel@Practical Cents That is awful to not only have a bad boss, but one that makes more work for you!
Oh yes, I’ve had all of these. First one was inept and could never remember anything told to him. Second, all three were salesmen so they were pretty egotistical. Current boss has good days and bad days. Very emotional and doesn’t trust anyone to do their work, so I always approach her before starting anything.
JourneytoSaving Ha! I too worked in sales for a while, so I definitely had a lot of the “ego” wrapped into all sorts of other issues. It really does become a game of how best to deal with them.
It’s amazing how much your boss affects your work happiness. I’ve had great bosses that elevated mundane work and horrific bosses that took the joy of out dream jobs. Now that I’m the boss, I try my best to a transformative boss. One who has a clear vision for the organization and recognizes her employees and want to help them succeed. Most days I believe I do this. :)
Great tips Shannon. A boss can really make or break a job. I’m fortunate enough that my current boss is amazing, and I really enjoy working for her. But, I’ve had several bosses in the past where I did everything I could to simply not have to deal with them. I’ve always said one day I’m going to be the boss that I would like working for, so I’ll have to remember the lessons above!
ShannonRyan I think it is important to learn from both good and bad bosses to determine your style and hopefully if/when you become the boss you choose to be transformative instead of destructive. I am sure you are an amazing boss!
ImpersonalFinance The boss really does “set the tone” for the entire environment, and yes, I hope when you are the boss one day that you set a tone that lifts people up and transforms them for the better. I am sure you will! :-)
Woof! I feel so lucky after reading this. I haven’t really had a bad boss yet. A few micro-managers when I was an RA in college but that was being in RA in college so not a career builder there. I’ve dealt with backstabbing from coworkers though. Also grateful to avoid the emotional mess. I’m too “unfeeling” to do well dealing with crazytown.
I’d completely agree that leaders have a direct influence on the emotional health of their employees. Can’t say that I’ve ever worked for any people like the one’s you describe. I guess I should count myself fortunate.
BrokeMillennial Ha! You are still early in your career, if you haven’t encountered these people yet, I suggest you quit and become the boss ASAP. :-)
Brian @ Luke1428 You are absolutely fortunate Brian because they are lurking out there, and I hate when I see amazing employees and potential corporate leaders get disillusioned or depressed by a bad boss.
I had a backstabber type of boss before, when I’m front of her, she always told me good things and even praised me for the good work that I had done. But I was just surprised when my co-worker told me everything about the bad things that my boss told about me to my co-workers.
Clarisse @ Make Money Your Way That’s awful! I hate when a boss speaks about an employee behind his or her back. It is so unprofessional and reminds me of junior high. I would much rather be told to my face what I need to work on rather than be lied to.
Great post there Shannon, very passionate and interested in careers posts myself..
Have you had any of these types of bosses before?
mycareercrusade I have had all of these bosses, sometimes more than once. I have also mentored people through bosses like these.
blonde_finance Wow, I suppose it makes you stronger and more resilient or maybe I am simply too positive about it all :)
Have you been a boss yourself yet?